Apparently some people need a clue when it comes to cleaning (I’m talking to my roommates of Freshman year). I hope the following helps.

1. If you stand while pooping in fear of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, it’s probably time to clean your toilet.

2. If you have a Febreze budget, it is time to clean your room.

3. If your track jacket smells like ham, it is not ham. Wash your track jacket. Eat some ham.

4. If the mold on your microwave burritos is now classified as a house plant, it’s time to do the dishes.

5. Showering should make you cleaner. If dirtying occurs, shower must be cleaned.

Warning: Cleaning a shower, while showering, may seem like a good idea, but chemical burns and hazardous fume inhalation may occur.

6. If your jeans are a record of what you’ve eaten for the past 3 weeks, it’s time to wash those jeans. Or invest in napkins.

7. Using the dishwasher to wash anything other than dishes, is not a good idea. Speaking from experience, the term “streak free” does nothing for streaks in underwear.

Picture via (www.flickr.com/photos/debaird)