I wish I could say the most important things I’ve learned was something out of a classroom, but that would be lying.

1. Playing UNO on Xbox Live after 11pm will open your eyes to all that is weird. The card game we all know and love is available on the Xbox 360 marketplace and with a little luck you may be placed in a room of diverse individuals. It’s not uncommon to see an under-dressed mom tell her whole tragic life story over a simple card game or someone get too friend with their dog.

2. Immaturity is the only thing that will get you through tough times. College might be a time to grow up, but no matter how mature you are, a little immaturity will get you through that stressful week of tests and projects. I can’t stress how fun it is to mess with people while they are using the restrooms.

3. Condoms make the best water balloons.

4. When tampons are wet, they can be thrown far and stick to anything.

5. There is no reason to buy a set of silverware before attending school. Instead, borrow the silverware from the cafeteria. Every bit of money saved counts.

6. Be willing to share whatever food you have. For whatever reason, your dorm-mates will run out of food in a matter of weeks. As soon as this happens they will go straight to the person with the best snacks. That is life.

7. Borrowing turns into Keeping after a couple months. If someone wants to borrow something, let them borrow it, but make sure you get it back. It’s not uncommon to loan someone a game and then completely forget about it.

8. Jumping right as the elevator is about to stop might seem like a good idea now, but it the morning when you have to walk down and back up the stairs, it’s not so much.

9. Don’t let the drunk girl sit down. She will piss EVERYWHERE.

10. Sundays aren’t a good day to poo. Urine and Puke from the previous night don’t age well. Wait for the cleaning crew on Monday or find a bathroom away from any dormitories and/or fraternities.

Photo: Mike Burroughs